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The Lord is my Refuge

A sister

In 2004, I experienced depression. Everyday I found myself weeping. I feared about dying and became suicidal. A sister in my church knew about my situation and made an appointment for me to see a doctor who was a Christian. This doctor prayed for me and prescribed medications. The doctor asked me to go to Jireh Fund and asked the intercessors to pray for me.

Thanks the Lord that when I came to Jireh Fund, the intercessor not only prayed for me, but also gave me two sets of "Set Me Free" prayer handbook. When I read the prayer handbook, I saw a verse that really shook my heart. "Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." (Heb. 4:16)

I began to learn about prayer using the prayers in the prayer handbook. I also started to use these verses to learn how to pray. Gradually I discovered that I had no more fear and insecurity in my heart as I placed my trust in the word of God. I had even forgotten to take my medicine. My depression disorder was eventually cured.

Thanks to the God who loves me. The word of God is like medicine, enabling to be strong in spirit and experience peace in my heart. It is written in the Scriptures, "For nothing is impossible with God." (Lk. 1:37) I began to attend the meetings held at Jireh Fund, such as "Set Me Free" Meetings and "Women's Bible Studies". Within several months, my spiritual life that was once dead had become alive again because of God.

Thanks to the Lord who has bestowed grace and mercy. Through the teachings of this intercessor, it enabled me to learn how to seek and return to God.

In December 2004, the person who used to give me regular allowance had failed his business and did not provide, not even during the Chinese New Year. One day he gave red packets to the children and left quickly. It was just the beginning of the nightmare. I received a letter from a collection agency asking for payment from him. At that time I knew that he was running away from his creditor. I told them about my situation and our relationship. I invited them to my home and in the end they gave up on me. I thought that everything had quieted down, and did not expect that a second letter was coming. This group of creditors was even more fierce and unreasonable than the first group.

In March 2005 I took up three part-time jobs to help make ends meet. I did not earn a lot at the time. I was in great distress when I received disturbing phone calls, loud door bangs and threats. My daughter was fearful and wept, and my heart was in great pain. I held her in my arms and said: "We believe in God, and for God said: 'So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.' (Isa. 41:10)"

The creditors continued to harass and threaten me; however, I was able to withstand because of the strength, mercy and promise from the Lord. Otherwise, I would not have succeeded and my life might just end there. For God has promised me: "Call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honor me." (Ps. 50:15)

The Holy Spirit taught me to proclaim the name of God before the creditors: The LORD is my light and my salvation - whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life - of whom shall I be afraid? (Ps. 27:1) The creditors immediately stopped using bad language and stared in awe before they left. They no longer came to my home and but instead they posted humiliating and threatening notes near my home. They also wrote many notes and threw them into my neighbor's home in order to bring shame on us. They even threatened to force me and my daughter to pay back the debt by going with them. Apart from reporting the incident to the police, I also called the intercessors and asked them to pray for me and my daughter. They prayed for us using Psalm 121.

The righteousness of our God came upon my home and His justice was manifested. He did not forsake me and did not put me to shame. The God who loves me enabled the police to intervene the incident and brought an end to these disturbances. He wanted me to experience His presence and power. He also wanted me to learn how to trust in Him even when difficulties laid ahead. I only needed to believe that He is the God who loves me. He is the true and living God. It is written in the Scripture: "You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you." (Isa. 26:3)

"But God has surely listened and heard my voice in prayer. Praise be to God, who has not rejected my prayer or withheld his love from me!" (Ps. 66:19-20) Thanks to our Lord!