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Testimonies

He has Truly Set Me Free!

A sister
"To proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners."
(Isa. 61:1a)

I grew up in an unhappy home where my parents fight over one another. I married at the age of nineteen and had my first child before I turned twenty. I am now a mother of three children. Horrible childhood memories, feelings of fear and helplessness did not go away easily, and had often awakened me in the middle of the night.

Five years ago, I had started to become emotionally unstable. I thought and came up with two reasons: First, after two major surgeries were operated on my mother, she enrolled in a nursing home after heated arguments with her husband. I took pity on my mother and felt guilty that there was not anything I could have done to help her. On the other hand, I had put much effort to please my mother; however, she did not seem to accept my acts of kindness, which became very difficult for me. Second, I left the church where I attended for many years, and immediately lost directions and even my self-worth …..I had served in the small church and had good relationships with the brothers and sisters in the church. After leaving the church, I was in great despair. At first, I thought this was only temporary; however, I had lost interest in daily activities that I used to like, such as shopping. And I had a strong feeling that I should end my life. My daily life routine was also affected. I had great difficulty getting up in the morning and washing. Next, I developed anorexia in addition to depression. Great fear seized me as I began to even loathe my own life. Where was God? I also asked where God had been. What were these beliefs that I have held onto for the past years? At that time a voice spoke in my heart: "Although you might not feel the presence of God, you can still choose to believe in Him."

On one occasion, The Media Evangelism (TME) came to my home to film a music program. When the crew began its filming, I had the opportunity to speak with the host of the "Life Line" program. I could not contain myself but poured out my bitterness before the host and he prayed for me. "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." (Mt. 11:28) I also asked the Lord to grant me a new heart and new spirit. Thank the Lord for His instant healing, as He lightened my burden by taking it away. He had filled me with joy and peace. In the following two years, I thanked God for support received from many people. He had also granted me a chance to participate in the meetings organized by Jireh Fund. God enabled me to again experience that His word is living and active. He enlightened my eyes and built up my life. God also encouraged me through different people around me. I also learned to accept the concern and prayers offered from others. In recent days I have learned to be more thankful. I have now experienced more deeply the power of prayer and God's word. It was all about His grace and there was nothing I could boast about. I would like to share a verse that had encouraged me. "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. (1 Th. 5:16-18)